Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Mountain Driving

It all begins with an idea.

Last year, I was watching a Toastmasters International Speech Contest.  One of the contestants gave a speech about how her dad taught her to drive in the mountains.  The title of her speech was, of course, “Mountain Driving,” and the message was that life is like driving through the mountains (ie. up and down, side to side and so on), but keep your foot on the pedal, keep going forward, and don’t let fear drive you.

 

I grew up in small town, Spruce Grove, Alberta, which was only a three-and-a-half-hour drive from Jasper National Park.  My parents and I spent a lot of vacation time in the Rocky Mountains, and I have many fond memories of those trips.

 

This contestant’s speech reminded me of the road up to Mount Edith Cavell, located just south of Jasper.  To reach the parking lot at the top, adventurers must drive up a very narrow 14-kilometer paved road with no guardrail and very tight switchback turns.  The road is for cars only (no campers or trailers) and there is only enough room for two cars, one going in each direction.  This road is not for the faint of heart.

 

As you gradually ascend, you drive straight for a bit, then take a sharp switchback turn, drive straight again, take another switchback turn, and so on and so on and so on until you reach the top.  Once you are on that road, you are committed to reaching the top.  There is nowhere to stop and nowhere to turn around should you change your mind.

 

Isn’t life a lot like that road?

Like the road at Mount Edith Cavell, life is not for the faint of heart.

 

To reach the top (eg. perhaps a goal you have set), the road is seldom straight.  When was the last time you discovered that in your life?  You may find yourself gradually ascending (all is well) when, all of sudden, it’s a sharp turn (expected or unexpected) to the right or the left.  Once around the turn you get to drive straight again for a while, but then, there’s yet another sharp turn.  And the sharp turns keep coming.  Sometimes it’s an act of bravery to make the turn, but you keep your foot on the pedal and keep driving forward.  That is the only way to get to the top.  There is no place to stop and there is no room for turning around, backing up, or going down.  You are committed to moving forward.

 

As you are on your road, have there been times when you felt like it was an act of bravery?  There very well may be times when you’d like to stop, back up or go back down, but it’s a narrow road and there’s only one direction to go in and that is forward.  So, keep your foot on the pedal, move ahead and enjoy the mountain drive.

 

What road are you on right now?

Are you ready to be brave?

Recommended Resources

-          Article by Elise D. and Patrick Parker – “Switchbacks On the Rail and In Life” - https://roamingparkers.wordpress.com/2018/07/16/switchbacks-on-the-trail-and-in-life/

Monthly Challenge

-          Take a piece of paper and draw a road on it, including 4 or 5 switchback turns.  The plot a period of your life out on it.  What do you see/remember?  What did you learn?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Rise Above!

It all begins with an idea.

On October 13, 2023, I travelled by plane to visit my Aunt in B.C.  It was a cloudy day, dull and dreary.  As we gained altitude, we broke through the grey clouds to sunshine and a bright blue sky.  The sun shone in through the window and the clouds were below us.  I felt like I was in heaven!  It was absolutely beautiful, and I thought, “It is always like this above the clouds.”  For me, it was one of life’s little meaningful moments.

 

The following week, October 24 to be exact, I was listening to a virtual mentor session with Darren Hardy titled, “A Promise of Brilliance.” 

 

Here is the transcript of that two-minute segment (used with permission):

“I flew out of Seattle recently and it was ten o’clock in the morning, but it was cold and it was dark and it was raining.  As soon as the plane broke through the cloud layer, guess what?  Yeah, suddenly this beautiful, warm and welcoming light came streaming through every window of the cabin.  It was almost spiritual in fact.  Above the clouds it was sunny and clear.  Then it hit me.  It is always sunny and clear ‘up there.’  No matter what’s happening close to the ground, sometimes you have to ascend a little higher, but eventually there it is – sun.  I think this is true of our lives as well.  Often, we get stuck in the doldrums of our problems and frustrations and the trials that we experience on the ground of our day-to-day life.  And like the human psyche that doesn’t see the sun for a while, sad disease can set in.  The world, our life, feels constantly cold, dark and dismal.  We forget even what the sun once felt like; that clear, bright and joyful energy that it brings.  But here’s the lesson I want to pass on to you.  The sun is always shining, only sometimes you have to leave the ground of your day-to-day trials and tribulations and ascend above the rain clouds to your higher purpose, remember the reason why you are here, what you are here to do and who you are here for.  Most of what happens day-to-day doesn’t matter and at the end of your days it will be about how you lived your life and the indelible impact that you had on those around you.  So, any time you feel the rain clouds moving in on you, know that you can get on your mental plane and ascend high above those clouds, even if you live in Seattle.  Remember your purpose and remember your passionate mission.” 

 

This episode immediately reminded me of my plane trip, and I loved the message Darren shared.  It is so easy to let our daily trials and troubles weigh us down.  That has happened to me many times.  But we can mentally take off in our plane, break through the rain and clouds and bask in the sunshine above, remembering our purpose and what we are passionate about.

 

Does this resonate with you?  Can you see yourself as that plane rising up off the ground, breaking through the rain and clouds to the sunshine above?  Can you mentally see the clouds below you?  It takes a bit of effort, for sure, but it is possible; you can rise above the clouds and enjoy the sun, confident in your purpose and passion.

 

Is there something in your life weighing you down?

Recommended Resources

-          Video - Song, “Walking on Sunshine,” by Katrina & The Waves - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U

-          Video - Song, “Sunshine,” by OneRepublic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYkK4HHTBQ4

Monthly Challenge

- What is one thing in your life you would like to rise above?  What three steps can you take to do that?  Write down the steps & review daily.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

A Race…To the Finish Line

In the spring of 2023, I decided to sign up for a series of run/walk events.  My husband Dave had done a handful of runs prior to COVID and I thought it would be fun to try it.  I wanted to get more exercise and, to be honest, I was motivated because all the participants received a Finisher’s Medal – so long as they crossed the finish line.

 

My first event was in June which was followed by three more events all of which were at the walk at a 5 km distance.  My time improved with each event and my collection of medals started to grow.

 

A turning point came during my fifth event, the Queen City Marathon in September.  I started the event walking, but halfway through the course, Gainer the Gopher (the mascot for the Saskatchewan Roughriders football team), tried to pass me.  I took one look at him and thought, “Oh, no, no no.  This is not happening.  I am not getting passed by a gopher!”  With Gainer’s encouragement, I started running and, as shown in the photo above, I ran to the finish line with Dave standing nearby shouting, “You don’t run!”  Well, I did and I received my fifth Finisher’s Medal!

Two more events followed and, again, I continued to improve and I ended the season with my personal best time.  I discovered I didn’t need to compete against anyone else, only myself, to improve.

By the end of the season, I was hooked, signed up for a fun 3 km Halloween walk (I even bought a costume), entered the “Ho Ho Holiday 5km” virtual walk/run that came complete with a Santa suit and even joined a “Conquer 2023” virtual event.  My something new, grew!  The funny part about all of this?  I hate running – but I love racing!

In life, as in sports, we can definitely compete for a placing, but, sometimes, there is value in simply setting a goal and finishing the race.  Depending on the circumstances, simply finishing can be an accomplishment and warrants a celebration.  By all means, celebrate your finishes!

When you are “out on course,” it’s helpful to know that we don’t really need to compete against others.  To become better “out there,” all we need to do is to set goals, compete against ourselves, and work towards improving.  As we do that, we will continue on the road towards our own personal best, becoming the person we envision ourselves to be.     

What one new thing (ie. goal) do you want to try in 2025?

Do you see the value in reaching the finish line?

How can you work towards your own personal best?

Recommended Resources

-          Article by Crystal – “11 Inspiring Quotes That’ll Get You to the…Finish Line” - https://inspiration.allwomenstalk.com/inspiring-quotes-thatll-get-you-to-the-finish-line/

Monthly Challenge

-          Set one new goal for 2025 (one that you can work on throughout the year), track your progress and milestones and see if you can reach your personal best within the year.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

The Garden

It all begins with an idea.

If you’ve ever had a garden, be it flowers, vegetables or both, you know that once the flowers are planted and the seeds sown, weeds will eventually appear.  We don’t like weeds, do we?  I mean, horses think dandelions are a wonderful snack – yum yum – but they are a nuisance and if left unchecked they will spread and take over the garden, ruining it.  What do we do with those dandelions?  We pluck them out, root and all, and rid our gardens of them and we repeat that every season.  It’s not a “once and you’re done.”

 

Our minds are gardens and how we tend to our thoughts is much more important than how we tend to our flowers and our vegetables. 

 

Last year, during the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking, one of the Semi-Finalist’s, Pamela Rodney, gave a speech titled “Seeds.”  She spoke about the childhood bullying she had experienced in school saying, “The seeds [thoughts] in me [had] been planted by others and I watered them with my tears.”  She then changed course, “I set to work pulling weeds.  I planted my own seeds – ‘You are an amazing person with unlimited possibilities.’ – and I found new gardeners and restored my soul.  What’s in your garden?

When we plant seeds of good thoughts, the impact is reflected in how we feel.  When we have positive, constructive and healthy thoughts we feel accordingly be it happiness, peace, calmness, confidence and so on. 

 

But what about those negative seeds/thoughts?  They happen; that’s part of being human.  They require our attention and, many times, we need to pluck those weeds from our minds.  Negative thoughts can have a detrimental effect – affecting how we feel as well as our wellbeing – and they need to come out because they do not serve us well.

 

Guidance comes from Philippians 4:8 (ESV): “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”  Notice that “true” thoughts come first.

 

To take it further, we can also consider what seeds others are sowing in us and what seeds we are sowing in them.  There are likely flowers blooming, and perhaps some weeds to pluck as well.    

 

What seeds are growing in the garden of your mind?

Are the flowers of good thoughts blooming? 

Are there weeds that need plucking?

What seeds are you planting in others’ gardens?

Recommended Resources

-          Article by Olga Pavuka – “Your Mind Is A Garden – Your Thoughts Are the Seeds” - https://www.deeph.io/your-mind-is-a-garden-your-thoughts-are-the-seeds/

Monthly Challenge

-          Reflect on the seeds you sow in your garden and the weeds you pluck out.  How does your garden look?

“Toastmasters International® and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International. This newsletter is the opinion of the author and is independent of Toastmasters International. It is not authorized by, endorsed by, sponsored by, affiliated with, or otherwise approved by Toastmasters International.”

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Looking Back

It all begins with an idea.

In the April 24, 2023 issue of People magazine actor LeVar Burton reminisced about his career and his experiences in the entertainment industry.  The actor, best known for his role as Geordi La Forge in Star Trek: The Next Generation, had guest hosted episodes of Jeopardy! and was a fan favorite to replace Alex Trebek, but he didn’t get his dream.

 

What was Burton’s response?  “Your failures are more important than your successes because you learn more from them.  Everything happens for a reason, and it’s all purposeful and perfect.  So, where’s the perfection in ‘I didn’t get what I wanted?’  I discovered that [it] wasn’t meant to be mine, but the process that I went through led me to exactly where I needed to be.”

 

Had Burton been the new host of Jeopardy! he might not have had the opportunity to re-unite with his fellow Star Trek co-stars for the third and final season of Star Trek: Picard.  His daughter, Mica, was cast to play Geordi’s daughter on the show and Burton would have missed out working with her. 

 

Reflecting back on his life, Burton says, “I’m ecstatic that things have worked out the way they have.”

 

This article left me reminiscing about my working career and how it led me to where I am today.  The early years of my career were in the non-profit sector followed by positions as a Claims Processor and Claims Adjudicator in Group Health and Dental Claims.  After that came several years as an Administrative Assistant and then…my dream job stared me right in the face.  A posting came up for a Human Resources Administrator at a local Call Centre and I wanted the job.  Having previously completed a Human Resources Advanced Certificate, this was the direction in which I wanted to go.

I got my dream job and it lasted…six months.  An extremely toxic work environment led me to take a leave and not long after I found a position as an Executive Assistant that included a $5K salary increase!  That position, located at the Loblaw warehouse west of Regina, led me to meet my significant other, Dave, and we have been together since July 1, 2011. 

 

When I lost my EA position due to the position being eliminated, I had a few months off before I applied for an Executive Co-ordinator position at Farm Credit Canada where I have been since February 2013.  I work with and for fantastic people and FCC is where I will finish out my career before I retire.

 

Like Burton, I didn’t get what I thought was my “dream job” but the process I went through over those years led me to Dave, a career at FCC, great colleagues and I think things worked out exactly as they were meant to.

 

What twists and turns do you see when you look back at your career?

Was there a time where you were glad something didn’t work out?

Do you feel that you are exactly where you are supposed to be?

Recommended Resources

-          Article on LeVar Burton by C.J. Marwitz – “Reinventing a career: LeVar Burton offers lessons in adaptability”: https://www.benefitspro.com/2022/05/25/reinventing-a-career-levar-burton-offers-lessons-in-adaptability/?slreturn=20230813110824

Monthly Challenge

Take a piece of paper, draw a timeline and chart out your career.     Reflect on the timeline and the changes, twists and turns your career took.  Was there anything that stood out to you about your journey?  Was it interesting to see how things worked out and how you got to where you are today?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Beauty From Ashes

Photo Credit: https://parks.canada.ca/pn-np/ab/waterton/nature/environment/feu-fire/feu-fire-kenow/gallerie-photo-gallery

2017 was the year of Canada’s 150th birthday, but for Waterton Lakes National Park it was memorable for an entirely different reason.

 

Following a severe thunder and lightning storm in British Columbia, a wildfire was detected on Kenow Mountain on August 30, about 10 km’s from Waterton’s park boundary.  Over the course of the next month, the fire would grow and move into the National Park, burning 19,303 hectares affecting wildlife, structures and 80% of the Park’s trail system.

 

The fire was massive and I remember following it on the news.  Dave and I had just been to Waterton that July to celebrate Canada Day in the National Park and even though I saw the images and videos online I could not imagine the scope of the destruction.

 

Dave and I returned to Waterton in 2022 and as we drove up the Akamina and Red Rock Parkway’s and hiked some of the trails we got a firsthand look at the damage.  The canopy provided by the trees was gone and while you could now see for miles (there were no tree limbs to block the view), the smell of pine was gone and birds and squirrels no longer inhabited the areas that had been burned.  Dead, burnt trees were everywhere; it must have been an inferno.

 

 Regardless, Waterton was still beautiful, and we went back again in July 2023.  On our first day we hiked the trail to Boundary Bay (at the U.S. border) which ran through some sections that had fell victim to the fire and some areas that had remained untouched.  As we hiked, I saw something I didn’t expect.  I saw a sea of purple flowers; appropriately named, “Fireweed.”

Six years after the Kenow wildfire, there was noticeable growth.  Underbrush had grown back and there were lots of baby trees.  But the purple fireweed stood tall and proud, creating a beautiful blanket across the mountainside.  The fireweed was only found in the areas that had been burned and they came to life following the fire.  Out of the ashes, came beauty.

 

What fires have burned through your life?  What destruction or damage came your way?  A broken relationship?  Death of a loved one?  A career that ended up in shreds?  A mistake that cost you dearly? 

 

What fireweed (ie. what beauty) grew in you as a result of that fire?  Did you become stronger, more compassionate, more helpful?  How long did it take to get there?  There are some things that can only grow because of a fire.  A fire is a natural occurrence in the forest; it is part of the forest’s lifecycle.  Fires produce critical functions, and the positives usually outweigh the negatives, though it’s not easy to see that at first.  You have gone through fires in your life; they produce critical functions.  How did they change you?

Have you gone through a fire recently? 

What beauty came from it in your life?

Recommended Resources

-          Learn more about the Kenow wildfire (including pictures) here - https://parks.canada.ca/pn-np/ab/waterton/nature/environment/feu-fire/feu-fire-kenow

-          Article by T.J. Blackman (see how you can apply this to your life) – “The Ecological Benefits of Forest Fires” - https://learn.eartheasy.com/articles/the-ecological-benefits-of-forest-fires/

Monthly Challenge

-          Think about one or two of the fires you have gone through in your life?  What beauty came from it?  How were you changed? 

-          How can you use what you learned to help others?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Round and Round We Go

It all begins with an idea.

In Issue 4, I shared with you my first solo kayaking trip on the Moose Jaw River.  In July 2023, I wanted to try out an inflatable dinghy, so I bought a black and orange Explorer 300 and took it with us when we went camping at Saskatchewan Landing Provincial Park. 

 

It was easy to carry (it came in a small box I could fit under my arm) and we took it to a quiet beach on Lake Diefenbaker.  I unfolded it, Dave inflated it, and we carried it to the water’s edge.  Turns out, that was the easy part; actually pointing it in a direction and going somewhere was something else entirely.  At first, all I did was go around and around in circles as if I was on an amusement park ride.  “This is hilarious,” I thought to myself.  But then it was time to get serious and move away from shore, if for no other reason than to get the dinghy away from the rocks that might slice the bottom of it.  No need to sink the new ship! 

 

Eventually I succeeded in getting it further from shore but paddling the dinghy was completely different from the kayak.  With the kayak, both of my hands were on the same paddle and they worked in unison.  With the dinghy, each hand was on a separate paddle and if my hands weren’t in unison, I would start to turn and wasn’t able to move in a straight line.

 

Paddling the dinghy was very hard (way harder than the kayak).  A few times I was able to get my hands and oars in unison and move straight, but it took a lot of effort and the most I could muster was three strokes and then I would start to turn.  It was far easier to go around in circles (the dinghy could turn on a dime) and I spent most of the time doing just that.

When it was time to return to shore, I paddled hard and got there, but not without thinking that I might have to “jump ship” and swim back to shore pulling it behind me with the tow rope.  Not a camera moment for sure!

 

As I thought about my somewhat failed dinghy expedition (yes, I need to learn how to properly steer it) it reminded me of how it relates to worrying.  “Really, Deb, do you worry?”  Yes, absolutely! 

 

Have you ever found yourself going around and around in your head worrying about something you can’t control only to find yourself getting nowhere?  Me too, many times.  It’s actually much easier to keep going around in circles but you can’t move forward if you aren’t going in a straight line.  It is also harder to keep mind and thoughts in a straight line by focusing on a piece of wisdom, a quote, advice from a friend, a song, or some good words found in a book.  Keeping the dinghy going straight took discipline, concentration and effort; the same is true for our thoughts.

 

Going in circles may seem productive at first, but if we wish to move forward in a straight line (and actually get somewhere) it will happen only if we put in the discipline, concentration and effort. 

 

Is there something you are worrying about right now, going in circles, getting nowhere?  How can you change that to moving in a straight line?

Recommended Resources

-          Article by Richard Foulkes – “Going Around in Circles” https://bniblog.co.nz/bni-core-values/positive-attitude/going-around-in-circles/

-          Article by Boaz Rauchwerger – “Worry is Like a Carousel – Get Off!” https://www.boazpower.com/worry/

-          For a bit of a deeper read here is an article by Alex Dimitriu M.D. – “How Anxiety and Fatigue Can Have Us ‘Walking in Circles’” https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/psychiatry-and-sleep/202212/how-anxiety-and-fatigue-can-have-us-walking-in-circles

Monthly Challenge

Reflect on something you may be worrying about right now that is outside of your control.  Do you feel like you are going in circles?  If so, what can you focus on that can help you change that to moving forward in a straight line?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

I Thought I Was Right!

In May 2023, Dave and I were doing our annual spring clean-up in the backyard, and I was cutting dead branches out of the rose bushes.  When I checked the climbing roses on our black metal garden arch, I saw that the roses on the left side were about 3’ tall.  However, the roses on the right side were only 1’ high.  Something wasn’t right. 

 

I had planted those roses the previous summer, and they were both the same height.  Upon further inspection I saw that the twist ties for the roses were still on the arch – at 3’ high, yet the roses had been cut down to 1’.  The branches looked like they had been cut clean off.  But, who would do such a thing? I didn’t want to entertain the thought that someone had been in the backyard cutting down my roses, but there was no debris on the ground (leaves, twigs) so nothing had eaten them.  I didn’t know what to think.  Something had obviously happened, but what?  I decided to put the thought out of my mind.

 

However, the next day when I got home from work, I looked out the front window at our hedge and saw that one of the bushes had been thinned out.  I went outside and sure enough, branches had been cut right off, thinning the bush.  I then found another hedge bush on the north side that had also been cut down about 6”.

 

Both bushes had had some of their branches cut cleanly off, and like the roses, there was no debris on the ground.  I was now faced with the reality that someone, goodness knows who, had been in our yard cutting our bushes down while taking the twigs and leaves with them.

 

Why would someone do that?  It didn’t make any sense.

In order to try and find an answer, I had Dave go to Best Buy and buy a set of Google Nest cameras to put on the house.  By installing cameras, should the perpetrator return, we would find out what was going on.

 

Believe it or not, we had our answer in less than 24 hours.  The following morning at 8:30 am Dave received a “person” alert on his phone from the front camera.  What we saw was completely unexpected and not what we  would ever have imagined.

 

Turns out, there was a moose “on the loose” in the neighborhood doing the rounds and the moose had eaten the roses and the hedge bushes.  I posted the photo on Facebook, and all of a sudden “moose sightings” started appearing online throughout the day.  Dave sent the video clip to the news; and it made the 6 o’clock news!  So, now Dave was famous and I faced the fact that while I was convinced someone in the neighborhood had damaged our bushes, I was 100% wrong.  The joke was on me!

 

In the end, Dave got the glory, I got to pay the bill for the cameras and the moose was captured and relocated to safer surroundings.

 

Do you remember a time where you thought you were 100% right about something or someone only to find out you were 100% wrong?

If so, how did that change you?

Recommended Resources

-          A TED article by Julia Galef - “Why you think you’re right, even when you’re wrong” https://ideas.ted.com/why-you-think-youre-right-even-when-youre-wrong/

-          “Lift Up” You Tube Video (7:55) – (2022 World Semi-Finals Toastmasters International Speech Contest video by Alexandre Matte, 2nd place winner, 2022 Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-3JTPaltdo

 

Monthly Challenge

Reflect on a time or two in your life when you were 100% certain you were right about something or someone only to find out you were wrong.  What did you learn from that?  How will that experience change you going forward?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

A Change in Perspective

In November 2022, Dave took me to the figure skating show, “Holiday Festival on Ice” for my birthday.  As my special day falls in December, it coincides with Christmas-themed events.

 

A figure skating fan, I was familiar with the headliner, Kurt Browning, and other skaters like Elvis Stojko, Kaitlyn Weaver and Andrew Poje.  However, I paid little attention to one of the other skaters on the list – Elaj Balde. 

 

I had seen Elaj compete more than once at the Canadian National Championships and, I will admit, I wasn’t a fan.  While he was the 2008 Canadian Junior Champion he never really “broke through” at the Senior Level.  When he skated, I wasn’t enthused.

 

All that changed with “Holiday Festival on Ice.”  When Elaj took the ice, he brought the party with him.  He had fast music and he skated just as fast.  He got the audience going and when he did not one, not two, but three backflips (one of which was overtop of Nam Nguyen who was lying on the ice) the crowd went wild.  He was fantastic and I found myself thinking, “Here is the next Kurt Browning.”

 

Of all the skaters that took the ice that evening, Elaj was my favorite and I later Googled him and watched some of his show performances.  Again, he was fantastic!  I saw a different skater in the show performances than I had seen in competition and my perspective changed. 

 

I saw a new side of Elaj and I looked at him differently – positively.

This reminded me of a time years ago at work when my manager told me I would be getting a new neighbor who would sit at the cubicle next to me.  My reaction was the same as when I saw Elaj compete at Nationals.  I wasn’t enthused.  I didn’t know this person very well and from my limited view, I thought they weren’t very friendly.  I wasn’t particularly excited that they would be moving next door.

 

However, like my experience with Elaj, that quickly changed.  When this person “moved in,” I had a chance to get to know them and I discovered they were a fantastic person!  I had been completely wrong in my view of them.  We had excellent conversations and got along really well.  So much so, that when they changed jobs and moved to a different desk, I was quite sad to lose my neighbor. 

 

I had seen a new side of this person, and I looked at them differently – positively.  My perspective had changed.

 

To this day, I hold this person in the highest regard and when we run into each other at the office, I am the first to ask, “Do you have time to go for coffee?”  And, if time permits, we most certainly do. 

 

Can you recall a time where you found your perspective

on someone changed when you saw a different side of them?

Is there someone around you that you have a limited view of?

Recommended Resources

-          “The Third Side” Perspective Taking Exercise – some fun mental exercises – what do you see?  https://thirdside.williamury.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/3S_Perspective_Taking_Exercise.pdf

-          “Perspective Taking” video by RISE (2:50) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqz7UcCgbLA

 

Monthly Challenge

Think about something or someone you aren’t really enthused about and spend some time learning about it or them.  What did you learn?  Did your perspective change?  Do you view it/them more positively?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Listening First

It all begins with an idea.

Many years ago, I had a falling out with a lady I’ll name Linda.  She ran a horse boarding operation and my horse, Fool, lived at her facility.  She was also an equestrian coach and the rule at her place was that you could not coach with anyone else on her property.  It was a rule I followed.  After all, her place, her rules.

 

One summer while preparing for a Dressage show, I was practicing a Freestyle program where the Dressage test is set to music.  I had paid a professional to select the songs, design the choreography, write the test and edit/mix the music.  I had done some preliminary work on riding the program with Linda, but she was out of town the week leading up to the show and was not available to coach me.

 

A friend of mine who lived out of town was coming into the city and offered to come to the barn and help me prepare for the show.  I accepted the invitation and was grateful for the support since this was my first Freestyle.

 

My luck being what it is (ie. not always good), Linda returned home at the exact moment my friend was at the barn helping me with my program. When she saw us together, she became angry.  Now, while it looked like I was breaking her rule (ie. coaching with someone else on her property), I wasn’t.  A friend was simply helping me out of the kindness of their heart. 

 

Had Linda allowed me to explain myself things might have turned out differently.  If she had listened, she would have learned that I had not slighted her at all.  It was simply a misunderstanding.  Listening may have made a difference.

 

Since then, I have discovered the value of listening when dealing with disagreements and conflict.  Through experience I learned the value of letting others speak first while I listen (listening to hear, not listening to respond). 

 

I found that listening first made a big difference.  It led to a greater understanding of situations, and it strengthened partnerships.  I continue to rely on listening as my first approach to important conversations.

 

Do you recall the last time you had an important conversation

with someone?

What approach did you take – talking or listening?

Can you see where listening first may make a difference?

Do you appreciate it when others listen to you?

Recommended Resources

-          The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols, PhD.

-          Article and Self-Evaluation Exercise by The Mind Tools Content Team – “How Good Are Your Listening Skills?”   https://www.mindtools.com/ai4ff5e/how-good-are-your-listening-skills

Monthly Challenge

This month get together with a friend once a week either in person or online and open the conversation with a simple question like, “How was your week?” Practice listening to their response maintaining a comfortable level of eye contact, nodding your head in acknowledgment without interrupting or interjecting until it is your turn to speak.  Record your thoughts on listening after each conversation.  What did you learn?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

“Two-Word” Principles

It all begins with an idea.

In Issue #9 (September 2023), titled “Possibility Thinking,” we looked at two “Two-Word” principles: “Even though…I will…” and “Yes, A-N-D…”

“Even though…I will…” is possibility thinking that moves us forward (“Even though I fell down, I will get up.”) and “Yes, A-N-D…” removes “but” from the equation, turning a negative thought or comment into a positive one (“Yes, I fell down, A-N-D I will get up.”).

 

I recently came across another “Two-Word” principle courtesy of James Clear in his book, Atomic HabitsThis principle, when applied, can change one’s perspective immediately.  The principle is: “Have to -> Get to.”

 

In January 2023 I was diagnosed with mild calcific tendinosis on the patellar tendon on my right knee.  This is the tendon that attaches the bottom of the kneecap to the top of the shinbone.  I had first noticed an issue in July 2022 when Dave and I were in Waterton National Park.  We were hiking a very steep trail called Bear’s Hump and I thought I had injured my knee hiking down the trail.  Over the summer, it seemed fine, but it acted up again in October sending a searing pain down the front of my right leg, below the kneecap.  Being an avid hiker, I wanted to get this addressed before hiking season started again in the summer of 2023.

 

I went to the doctor, who sent me for an x-ray and an ultrasound.  While the      x-ray was clear – “Hooray, no fractures!” – the ultrasound revealed multiple tiny calcifications on the patellar tendon, the largest of which was 4 mm’s.  Essentially, those calcifications weakened the tendon and the tendon needed to be strengthened.

The treatment – physio.  Not a short-term commitment, either; it was long-term.  For five weeks I went for weekly physio appointments returning home each time with a regiment of exercises I needed to do at home (at least 5 days per week lasting anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour each day).  After the first five weeks the appointments were more spread out, but I still had to exercise at home – for months - which was time consuming.

 

Aside from the fact that it was cute when every time I lay on my back on my yoga mat to do my exercises, our little seven-pound dog, Lacie, thought it was fun to jump on my chest and give me a face full of puppy kisses, doing physio wasn’t exactly the highlight of my day and it was easy to complain.

 

James Clear’s principle changed all that – an immediate change in perspective led me to feeling completely different about the situation.  Instead of, “I HAVE TO do physio tonight,” “I GET TO do physio tonight to get ready for hiking season.”  A shift, involving a simple “Two-Word” principle immediately changed my outlook, turned a negative into a positive and I found myself facing forward.  So simple, yet so impactful.

 

What situation are you facing that can you change from a

“Have to” to a “Get to?”

How does that make you feel?

Are there other “Two-Word” principles you can think of?

Recommended Resources

-          Atomic Habits by James Clear.

-          Article by Tim Sanders – “Turn a have-to into a get-to.”   https://timsanders.com/turn-a-have-to/

Monthly Challenge

-          For the upcoming week, write down a list of all the things you “Have To” do.  Then review the list and change the “Have to’s” to “Get to’s.”

-          Do this each week for a month and note the change in your perspective.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Ring That Phone!

It all begins with an idea.

In 2008, while working as an Executive Assistant for IBM, I supported four internal clients.  Two of them were remote.  That was before we had Microsoft TEAMS and Zoom so I never met my remote clients “face-to-face.”  The only time I saw their faces was when I looked at their photos in the company directory.  We corresponded with each other primarily via email (sounds so “old school,” I know).

 

One of my remote clients made a permanent, lasting impression on me by doing the very simplest of things.  Once or twice a year, he would pick up the phone and call me at work, simply to chat for a few minutes and ask how things were going.  He didn’t call because he needed anything from me; he only wanted to check in and see how I was doing and what I was up to.  It was always a pleasure to chat with him.

 

I never forgot that small, simple act and it left an impression; a very positive one.  I have never met anyone like him since and he taught me some very important lessons.  He understood the importance of connection and taking a few minutes out of the day to chat with those he worked with.  He took an interest in other people and treated them like they mattered.  He knew that electronic communication, while valuable, was not the only way (nor always the best way) to interact with others.

 

While I no longer work at IBM and have no idea where he is now, I have never forgotten the positive impact he had on me and how he treated me.  It’s almost funny how such a simple thing that takes only a few minutes, can leave an impression that is still fondly remembered over a decade later.

Fast forward to 2022.  I had met a retired lady named Helen years ago via the art community and we had a bit of a connection.  Due to COVID we had not been in touch for quite some time, but she called me one day “out of the blue.” I was driving at the time so I couldn’t answer the phone, but I called her back within a couple of days.  You should have heard the excitement in her voice when she heard my voice.  She was thrilled and so appreciative that I had taken the time to call her back!

 

To me, it was a “no brainer.”  Why wouldn’t I call her back?  But it meant something to her; in fact, it meant a great deal to her.  All it took was a few minutes of my time and we had a great conversation.  She told me I had made her day and that made me feel really good.

 

In February 2023 I read an interview in People magazine with actress Reese Witherspoon and she was asked a question about the “pre-texting era.”  Her response was bang on: “There’s a point when you need to get off texts.  I talk to my kids who are older about the power of picking up the phone.  Having that direct communication can sometimes get right to the point.” 

 

When was the last time you picked up the phone?

When was the last time someone called you to chat? 

How did that make you feel?

Recommended Resources

-          Article by Andrea Wigfield – “Calling People on the Phone…” https://studyfinds.org/phone-calls-anxiety-well-being-mental-health/

-          Article by Melissa Kaufman – “The Phone Call Challenge: The antidote to a disconnected world.” - https://crounse.medium.com/the-phone-call-challenge-the-antidote-to-a-disconnected-world-7b96953fb5a4

Monthly Challenge

-          Once a week, choose one person (friend, family or colleague) that you are going to call and catch up with.  Note their response to your call.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Changing of the Seasons

It all begins with an idea.

As one who is “change-averse,” I don’t like a lot of change and embracing it doesn’t come naturally to me.  I tend to see the negative side before taking time to come around to the positive side and the possibilities.

 

However, last year I learned a concept about change that completely changed the way I view it.

 

I learned about the seasons.

 

If we think about the four seasons in a year – winter, spring, summer and fall – we know they have one thing in common - they are all about change.

 

As winter comes to an end, the days get longer, the temperature goes up and the snow melts.  Spring begins, the trees and flowers come to life, and the grass starts to green up.  Summer brings longer days of sunshine, flowers, gardens and crops.  Fall brings a slowing down.  The plants and gardens come out, crops are harvested, and the trees shed their leaves to prepare for winter.  Winter brings snow, cold temperatures, and less daylight.

 

Every season brings change, and the seasons are consistent; they happen every year whether we want them to or not.  It is a cycle of change.

 

Change is just as natural as the seasons and each season is temporary.  For example, winter doesn’t last forever.  It will end.  Grasping this concept completely changed how I view change. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…”

 

When change happens in my life, I now view it as a season.  Taking this perspective took all the internal resistance away and helped me accept changes easily.  For example, my company welcomed a new CEO last year.  It was time for a new season with a new leader.  In 2022, I bid farewell to a trusted partnership.  The season for that relationship had run its course and that was perfectly okay.  Gone was the internal wrestling; in its place was acceptance and understanding.

 

In our lives, if we view change as a season, it helps us to understand that change is natural and consistent; it is going to happen and there is a “…time for everything…”  Each season doesn’t last forever; more change will come and by seeing change as a season it is easier to accept and easier to flow with.  It leads to understanding.

 

As you look back on your life, what seasons do you recognize?

Does thinking about change as a season help you accept it more readily?

Recommended Resources

-          The Stories We Tell by Joanna Gaines from the TLC show “Fixer Upper”; she shares some of her personal experiences, covering topics such as pain and empathy, being present, seasons, and life as pieces of a puzzle.

-          Article by Sheri – “4 Great Ways To Adapt To the Seasons of Life” https://www.purposefulhabits.com/adapt-to-the-seasons-of-life/

Monthly Challenge

-          On a piece of paper draw four large squares and mark them (Winter – Jan. to Mar., Spring – April to June, Summer – July to September, Fall – October to December).  Using your memory and a calendar (personal and/or work) review the prior year listing the changes you experienced on your paper.  How many changes did you discover?  How did you manage the changes?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Gratitude!

It all begins with an idea.

Have you ever found it is far too easy to focus on the “one thing?”  You know what I mean – the “one thing” that didn’t work out the way you had hoped. 

That “one thing” could be a situation that didn’t go your way, a failed relationship, something you didn’t get, a dream that didn’t come true, a disappointment, a goal not met and so on.  It may be something within or outside of your control.

Depending on the size, scope and impact of the “one thing,” our minds can be consumed with thoughts of it and what we think about affects how we feel.  Our thoughts and emotions can get intertwined and, before you know it, minutes, hours and days are spent thinking about the “one thing.”

This happened to me in 2022; a situation happened that consumed me (yes, I had allowed it to) and I realized I was not going to get what I wanted.  That’s just the way life is sometimes.  In the midst of it, this thought entered my mind: “Live in gratitude for what you have rather than longing for what you do not have.”

I grabbed a post-it note, wrote that thought down and kept it on my desk at home where I would see it every time I sat down at the computer.  This thought stayed with me for months and I tried to focus my mind in that direction.

Through my virtual success mentor, Darren Hardy, I learned to put together brief AM and PM routines to bookend my day and keep me grounded.  My AM routine included thinking of five things I was grateful for.  It was as simple as being grateful for good weather or deeper such as being thankful for my job and the cherished people in my life.

In 2023, I took this a step further and decided to purposely live from a place of gratitude.  While searching on eBay, I found a “Gratitude Journal” that listed five blank lines for each day (for the entire year) where I could write out what I was grateful for.  I started on Jan. 1 and kept on going.

What did I discover?  Firstly, it takes work to train your brain to consciously think this way each day.  It didn’t always come naturally; sometimes I had to deliberately shift my thoughts to something I was thankful for.  Secondly, it changed my focus to being more positive and helped me see the glass as “half full,” so to speak.  Thirdly, it truly helped me live into my thought from 2022 - “Live in gratitude for what you have rather than longing for what you do not have.”

What are you grateful for and how can you live a life of gratitude?

Recommended Resources

-          Purchase a Gratitude Journal (there are many on Amazon) that lasts a year.

-          You could also purchase a Page-A-Day calendar with quotes on gratitude (also available on Amazon; search “gratitude calendar”).

 

Challenge for 2024

-          Take five minutes at the end of every day this year to write out what you are grateful for.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

It’s All in the Details!

It all begins with an idea.

The photo above is a Christmas Dollhouse Miniatures roombox (scale 1:12) that I made in 2021 and was subsequently published in Issue 90 of Dollhouse Miniatures magazine.

 

Dollhouse Miniatures is not a hobby that is well known in Canada.  These pieces are intended to be a form of art (not a toy) and the idea is to create a room (or house) that has just enough detail as to draw the reader in and allow them to use their imagination and visualize a story within the piece.

 

I completed the first version of the roombox by the end of September and submitted it for consideration.  While the Editor liked it, she felt it was missing a few things that would draw the reader in and she offered a number of suggestions.  Being open to feedback, I got back to work.

 

Paulo Coelho said, “The devil is in the detail[s],” and I made the following changes to my roombox (imagine what it would have looked like before this):

 

·         I added the “Joy” bell pull (which I made) and the “Noel” banner.

·         I made the “AJ” stocking and hung it from the fireplace garland.

·         A plate of cookies was added to the coffee table.

·         A pencil sits on the desk.

·         I made the rectangular poinsettia rug under the desk chair and added a poinsettia doily to the sitting area to serve as an area rug.

 

Once these changes were made, I resubmitted it to the Editor for consideration and was given the “thumbs up!”  It would be published in their Christmas issue and shared with readers around the world!

As with many things in life, details can make all the difference.  Even small, seemingly minor touches can take something from good to great.

 

The photo below shows the fireplace garland in detail.  Would you believe me if I told you it took two weeks to make?  The three gold bows took a whole weekend as the wired ribbon had to be shaped and then carefully glued and the beads added on.  The gold balls on the garland were ready-made, but the rose and silver balls were clear beads, painted with glue and rolled in glitter.  Once dry, the bows and beads were very carefully glued into place, one by one.  It’s one-of-a-kind and adds a level of detail to the room that would otherwise not have been achieved.

 

There are a few parallels to be drawn from this to project to life.  Firstly, details matter.  A small change or two (either personal or professional) can make a big difference.  Many times, that small change only requires a bit of effort and results in a vastly improved result.  Secondly, feedback is meant to help.  If someone takes the time to provide feedback, it is for our benefit and can help us take something from good to great. 

What detail can you add to take something from good to great?  Have you received feedback from a trusted person – are you ready to get to work? 

Recommended Resources

-          An article on how details make the difference in Customer Service - “Small Details Make A Difference” - https://hyken.com/customer-experience-2/small-details-make-a-difference/

-          Forbes Article by Jack Zenger – “There is No Feedback Fallacy: Understanding the Value of Feedback” - https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2019/05/13/there-is-no-feedback-fallacy-understanding-the-value-of-feedback/?sh=4088030b5368

Monthly Challenge

-          Think of one or two things you can do to add a level of detail in your work, then seek out feedback from a trusted colleague.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

The Tree

It all begins with an idea.

While listening to a video from my virtual success mentor, Darren Hardy, I took these notes: “A tree will soak in as much nourishment as it can, grow its roots down deep and then grow as tall as it can.  It will stretch as high and wide as nature will allow (ie. it doesn’t grow to only half its potential) and then look down as if to remind us how much each of us could become if we would only do as much as we can.  Like the tree, stretch upward and outward to the full measure that you can.  Do the best you can for as long as you can.  To settle for doing less than you could is to fail at this worthy undertaking.  If our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before.  The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and to the world around them as a result of who and what they have become on this epic journey.” (courtesy of Darren Hardy and his mentor, Jim Rohn)

 

As I reflected on this, I saw three components:

·         Soak In

·         Dig Deep

·         Grow Up

 

#1 – Soak In

In order for any living thing to grow, it needs to soak in nourishment.  No nourishment, no growth – period.  For trees, that nourishment is found in the soil and water is required to absorb those nutrients and grow.  As humans, we literally can’t live without food and water – they are essential for growth. 

 

In terms of our internal growth, we also need to soak in “the good stuff” that promotes development.  This could include things such as reading quality books, listening to videos or podcasts from reputable sources, watching educational/informational programming, getting a mentor, joining a club, taking classes and more.  What nourishment do you soak in to promote your internal growth?

#2 – Dig Deep

Trees have roots for a reason.  They absorb nutrients and provide stability.  When storms come (except in cases of severe weather), roots keep trees grounded.  We all have roots in our lives.  I was very fortunate to have had good parents and they gave me good roots that kept me grounded in later years when things were tough.  Let your roots grow deep.  They will help nourish you and stabilize you in tough times.

 

#3 – Grow Up

Trees can only grow in one direction and that is up – towards the sun.  Reread the opening paragraph on page 1.  Are you stretching as much as you can to reach your potential?  Remember, a tree doesn’t just grow to half its potential. 

 

Growth in trees happens slowly.  If you look at a tree every day, you won’t see growth, but if you look at it once and then again a year later, you will see the growth that happened over the prior year.  Growth happens slowly on a daily basis, and the results will be seen over time.

 

What are you soaking in?  Are you digging your roots down deep?  Are you growing up?

Recommended Resources

-          Song, “Dig Your Roots,” by Florida Georgia Line (video on You Tube).

-          Song, “Born and Raised,” by Hunter Brothers (video on You Tube).

-          Amazon has several “Self-Development” workbooks for men and women.  You can easily search for one that interests you and then spend time working through it.

 

Monthly Challenge

-          Watch this Suvic Sponge ad on You Tube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODL692OaQAo

Reflect: What happened to the sponge when it was placed in water?

-          Watch this timelapse video of an acorn becoming an infant tree in eight months (note the comment below the video noting that growth is slow) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS2toXyZAy0

Reflect: What stood out to you in this video?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

A Gift to Yourself

It all begins with an idea.

We all know that in life, stuff happens, and that “stuff” can vary in size, scope and severity.  Some things impact us more than others and sometimes things can be a real serious struggle.  I have been there, and more importantly, so have you.  You may even be there right now. 

 

Last year, I learned three things that helped me come to terms with a difficult situation; it was a gift, so-to-speak, and today I would like to pass that gift on to you.  The gift of A – F – G.  

 

A - Acceptance

When my difficult situation arose, the little “justice judge” inside of me popped up saying, “This is not right!  How you were treated was wrong!”  Her voice was as strong as Judge Judy’s, but by letting my inner judge rail against the perceived wrongdoing, I was missing something – peace.

 

Eventually I came to see that the road to relief was in acceptance.  By accepting the situation, accepting the past and accepting myself, I felt as though I had taken a long, deep breath.  Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean inaction (that depends on the situation), but acceptance gave me peace.

 

F - Forgiveness

In my difficult situation, forgiveness was important.  I needed to forgive the offender for their wrongdoing, not for their sake, but for mine.  By doing so I set myself free and was no longer bound to hold them to justice.  I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  A friend pointed out to me that I also needed to forgive myself for the mistakes I had made.  I agreed and offered forgiveness to myself as well.

G - Gratitude

I needed to change my focus in my difficult situation and the path to that was via gratitude: gratitude for the things I did have, rather than longing for what I did not have.  Does that resonate with you?

 

Living from a place of gratitude is a powerful place from which to live.  Doing so, can change your perspective immediately. 

 

No matter how difficult things are, there are always people or things around that you can be grateful for.  For those who know me, I am very lean on family members as I have no parents, siblings or kids.  I have my spouse, Dave, and my Aunt and extended family two Provinces away in B.C. and that’s it.  While I have less than a lot of people in terms of family, I still have much to be grateful for.  It’s all about perspective.

 

How can you unwrap the gifts of acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude in your life?

Recommended Resources

-          A variety of gratitude journals are available on Amazon and are a great way to keep track of your daily “thanksgiving.”

-          BetterUp Article by Paulina Cal y Mayor Galindo – “What is gratitude?    5 ways to be thankful” - https://www.betterup.com/blog/gratitude-definition-how-to-practice

 

Monthly Challenge

-          Purchase a gratitude journal and spend 5 minutes each day this month reflecting on what you are grateful for and write them down.  At the end of the month, review what you wrote.

-          Reflect with a piece of paper: is there a difficult situation in your life your you need to accept so that you can find relief?  Is there a person you need to forgive so you can be free?  Do you need to forgive yourself?  What five things are you grateful for today?

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Possibility Thinking

It all begins with an idea.

Are you a glass half-full type of person or a glass half-empty?

 

I will admit that looking at the negative side of things first comes naturally to me, but with time and a bit of effort, I can come around to looking at the positive side.  Can you relate?

 

Our minds are powerful and what we think affects us physically, emotionally and mentally which is why possibility thinking is important.  This type of thinking is creative, helping us look for options, solutions or actions in a situation, rather than looking solely at the negative side and possibly shutting down any potential good ideas.

 

In 2022, I learned two specific principles regarding possibility thinking and they have stayed with me ever since.

 

 

Principle #1 – “Even though…I will…”

This principle comes from Psalm 23:4 – “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.”

 

This is a principle that we can apply to our lives on a daily basis in almost any situation.

 

For example, “Even though I was hurt, I will forgive.”  “Even though I failed, I will try again.”  “Even though I made a mistake, I will correct it.”  “Even though it wasn’t my fault, I will do what I can to help the situation.”

 

“Even though…I will…” is possibility thinking that moves us forward.

Principle #2 – “Yes, A-N-D…”

This comes from Darren LaCroix, the 2001 Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking.  He introduced me to the “Yes, A-N-D…” principle saying, “There’s a power to it when you can accept what happens in your life, accept that horrible thing, AND start doing something about it.  It’s empowering.  Train your brain to think, ‘Yes, A-N-D…’  When you have frustrations, it is empowering to respond with, ‘Yes, A-N-D…’”

 

For example, “Yes, I fell down, A-N-D I will get up.”  “Yes, I ran that stop sign A-N-D I will pay the ticket the officer gave me.”  “Yes, I am upset, A-N-D and I will take a walk around the block to calm myself.”

 

“Yes, A-N-D…” removes the negative word “but” from the equation and turns a negative into a positive encouraging possibility thinking and positive action.

 

How can you incorporate “Even though…I will…” and “Yes, A-N-D…” into your life, training your brain to think in terms of possibilities?”

Recommended Resources

-          Article by John Maxwell – “Possibility Thinking, Part One” - https://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/possibility-thinking-part-one/

-          Article by John Maxwell – “Possibility Thinking, Part Two” - https://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/possibility-thinking-part-two/

 

Monthly Challenge

-          Reflect with a piece of paper: how would you define possibility thinking?  What does it mean to you?

-          Reflect with a piece of paper or a journal: think about three different situations you have in your life right now.  Ask yourself, “Even though…I will…” and “Yes, A-N-D…” about each of them.  Come up with one or two possibilities for each situation.  What actions will you take? 

“Toastmasters International® and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International. This newsletter is the opinion of the author and is independent of Toastmasters International. It is not authorized by, endorsed by, sponsored by, affiliated with, or otherwise approved by Toastmasters International.”

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Does It Matter?

It all begins with an idea.

A few years ago, a former manager and I had a conversation about success and how a person treats others en route to their success.

 

The conversation centered around Elon Musk, his tremendous success with Tesla and SpaceX and we had both read Ashlee Vance’s book, Tesla, SpaceX and the Quest for a Fantastic Future.

 

My manager and I found ourselves on opposite sides of the question: Does it matter how leaders treat people enroute to their success?  After having read Ashlee’s book, I understood that while Elon was undeniably successful, he did not treat his employees well.  My thinking was that, yes, it does matter how a leader treats their people and if Elon could be successful (when not treating his people well), how much more successful could he and his companies be, if he empowered his people, trusted them and worked well with them.  My manager was on the other side of the fence and his thinking was that it was permissible for a leader to not treat people well while achieving success.  It was one of those conversations where we very politely and respectfully agreed to disagree.

 

That conversation never left me and in 2020 I came across a CBC Sports article on Canadian figure skater, Keegan Messing, reflecting on Canadian and World Champion skater, Patrick Chan.  According to the article, Patrick “…was an even better person that he was a skater.”  Now that is saying something!

 

Keegan said, “I can definitely say that’s something I strive for every day….It doesn’t matter how I skate on the day of, but what I think matters every day in practice is how you treat your fellow skaters or how you approach any person on any day.  The person you are off the ice is much, much more important that the person you are on ice.  If you can better yourself every day off the ice, you know it’s got to do something on the ice.”

Keegan’s perspective resonated with me.  I copied that section of the article into MS Word, printed it off, and hung it on my cubicle wall at work. 

 

Keegan’s perspective was a lesson that was reinforced in 2022 from Darren LaCroix, the 2001 Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking when he stated, “Who you are off the stage is more important than who you are on the stage.  What do people think of you offstage?  That is often more important.”

 

This reminded me of my previous competition history.  When Dave and I took our horses to Dressage shows, I always made sure to be polite and not grumpy in the barn.  How hollow a victory would have been if I was crabby to the people who supported me.  Rather, for me, it was a team effort.

 

When competing in speech contests, there were times of stress, but I never took it out on my coach or those who were helping me prepare.  While I was the one who had to “deliver on the day of,” I had a team behind me supporting me and I treated them accordingly.

 

How about you; who are you “off the ice/stage”?  What is people’s experience of you?  Are there some adjustments you would like to make?

Recommended Resources

-          Tesla, SpaceX and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashlee Vance.

-          The Great Traits of Champions by Mark Tewksbury and Debbie Muir

Monthly Challenge

-          Reflect with a piece of paper: how do you treat the people around you enroute to any success you may be seeking?

-          Reflect: who are you “on the ice/stage,” and who are you “off the ice/stage?” 

-          Reflect: what are people’s experiences of you?  Are there some things you would like to change?  Share this with a trusted committed partner and ask them to hold you accountable for any changes you would like to make.

“Toastmasters International® and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International. This newsletter is the opinion of the author and is independent of Toastmasters International. It is not authorized by, endorsed by, sponsored by, affiliated with, or otherwise approved by Toastmasters International.”

*Note: I was unable to locate the specific online CBC Sports article, but credit is due them for the quoted material.

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Deborah Walker Deborah Walker

Ready…Set…Goals!

It all begins with an idea.

I am a goal-oriented person.  I love the challenge of a goal being set before me; give me a goal and I will reach it. 

 

I actually thought I was doing really well in the “goals department.”  Then, in 2021, a friend of mine gave me a journal by Darren Hardy titled, “Living Your Best Year Ever,” after I had told her I was going to take a run at the Toastmasters International World Championship of Public Speaking in 2022.  She thought it would help me on that journey. 

 

I began my “journal journey” in November 2021 and had 3 specific goals: win the World Championship of Public Speaking (or see how far I could get in the process), pay off my Line of Credit and read 30 books. 

 

The first half of the journal contains reading material along with associated exercises, including:

 

·         Reviewing the prior year for accomplishments, lessons learned, and decisions made.

·         Reviewing what you are grateful for.

·         Completing a personal assessment on eight areas of your life (for example, relationships and finances).

·         Deciding what your Top 10 “SMART” goals would be for the upcoming year.

·         Narrowing down the Top 10 to the Top 3.

It took me a month or two to get through those sections.

 

The second half of the journal is dedicated to making sure you achieve your Top 3 goals, by actively planning what you want to accomplish each week, along with reviewing what you want to accomplish that month and for the quarter.  You set your goals for the week, track your progress and at the end of the week you complete a review for the wins, losses, lessons and fixes.  There are also additional reviews every fourth week and every twelfth week.

 

This journal is “hands down” the very best goal-setting resource I have ever used, and it changed the way I pursued my goals.  This resource will help ensure you reach your goals! 

 

How did I do with my Top 3?  For the first time ever, I placed in the Top 3 at the District Level in the Toastmasters International Speech Contest, winning third place (May 2021).  I paid off my Line of Credit and I exceeded my goal of 30 books read (I read 35).  I accomplished all of these ahead of my deadlines, too.  What goals are you ready to set for yourself?

Recommended Resources

-          Living Your Best Year Ever journal by Darren Hardy - https://store.darrenhardy.com/products/living-your-best-year-ever

-          Darren Hardy produces daily (Monday to Friday) videos on a variety of topics to help people kick-start their day.  You can sign up for these for free at https://darrendaily.com/  I start each workday with these videos and have learned a ton!

 

Monthly Challenge

-          Purchase the journal and sign up for the Darren Hardy videos.

-          Spend this month working through the first half of the journal.

-          Commit yourself to the journal for one year and watch yourself reach your goals!

“Toastmasters International® and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International. This newsletter is the opinion of the author and is independent of Toastmasters International. It is not authorized by, endorsed by, sponsored by, affiliated with, or otherwise approved by Toastmasters International.”

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